Much of my poetry is written based on first hand experience, having to deal with people both with excellence of character and with those a bit shy of, let's say. Everything that happens to us both good and bad in life is an opportunity to learn something. Unfortunately though, it's usually the bad or unpleasant experiences that teach us the most, but we have to be willing students. As a 'work in progress', I'm a student of life; my course of study is 'progressive learning'. Hence, my goal with my poetry is to convey what I've learned and what I continue to learn from my dealings with others providing me with insight or perspicacity in the constant hope when I share my thoughts in poetic verse, others may benefit from it in some way.
I am fully aware that my poetry will and does get passed over by many and even compelling some to have negative thoughts/opinions about my poetry and I'm sure likewise when I write like I am here and now. Some don't like to read any more than a line, two, or three, while others like myself do like to read because we like to learn and we can't learn too much in life if we're unwilling to read and/or to listen. But either way, this is okay by me. I don't write to 'impose' on others. I don't write in accordance with what or how others 'think' I should write. I write and express from within, from my heart, and from my life experiences, either directly or indirectly. Those who can relate will receive. Those who can't, won't. It's this plain, this simple. I think whenever possible, we should keep things affecting our lives as simple as possible, since life has more than enough complications and usually tending to be more unpleasant than pleasant ones at that.
I believe that when we share knowledge gained, we then open the door for others to benefit, if they so choose to. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of Love and Love's characteristics. I believe in seeking to gain resolutions so that problems are resolved and not left to come back and bite us in the future and likely when we least expect such to happen. Unresolved issues prey on us, distract us, stress us unnecessarily, steal our energy, etc. and we may not even be aware of this happening. When we overtime accumulate a number of unresolved issues, the greater the negative impact the unresolved issues have on our lives and even on our health.
With this particular poem, I'm adding some additional thoughts since there's more I wish to say, especially to those who can relate truly to its content because of having to live being treated as an "Outcast". I KNOW what it's like to be treated like an outcast, a misfit. I KNOW how it feels to be treated like you're worthless; to be cruelly mocked and made fun of; to have your character completely assassinated. I have been called just about every demeaning and derogatory name in the book and all beginning back when I was a child and continuing on into my adult life and it did, it has adversely affected my life. But in short I have been able to rise above it, sooner or later, though it has not been easy because you do go through bouts of doubting yourself and having periods when you feel defeated and discouraged. Since I seem to be a magnet for attracting people who seem to enjoy trying to bring me down, I've experienced having to deal with more than one such person at a time and if you're dealing with other trying issues in your life simultaneously, all combined, life can become very draining to say the least.
There is another lesson I've learned from this though and the lesson is, the better person you are, the more you'll experience others trying to bring you down. The beauty in this, however, is each time you succeed in rising above others' attempts to bring you down, you gain more strength, more resilience, more courage, more confidence in yourself, which in turn gives you a greater sense of self worth. Therefore, in some sort of abstract way, those who try to bring us down, inadvertently can lift us up, if we develop the right perspective. So, when we cultivate an attitude of gratitude, we benefit ourselves when we include the 'lesson deliverers' in our lives among our blessings because they challenge and test our character. We either meet the challenges, learn from them, and then rise above them or we don't.
When one is treated this way, as an outcast, their self esteem, their self confidence, their sense of self worth, etc. are greatly diminished, even to the point where they'll have none. This adversely affects one's attitude, their outlook on life. If as a child one feels this way, it not only adversely affects their childhood, it will also adversely impact their adulthood as well, which they may or may not be conscientious of, with many not. It's important to remember, our positives propel us forward; our negatives hold us back. Therefore, only when we acknowledge and learn both within ourselves, will we then be afforded the ability to navigate through life in a more positive, productive way.
Since outcast folks have a very low opinion of themselves to begin with, they're unlikely to be willing to take a closer look at themselves for fear they'll have to face what they perceive about themselves "based on others' perceptions". But the best thing one can do for themselves is to LEARN themselves and HONESTLY without ego influence because when we learn ourselves, we learn both our strengths and our weaknesses, our positives and our negatives and all there is in between. When we LEARN and KNOW ourselves, no one else can determine and/or dictate "to us" who we are. We then empower ourselves and take the power regarding ourselves out of the hands of others and place it in our own, where this power rightfully belongs.
When focused on learning ourselves, human nature alone will point us in the right direction first, the direction where we learn to recognise and accept our strengths, our positives, which is imperative to build our character on and around so we can establish and boost our self esteem, comprising of our self confidence and self worth. When we learn the good within us, we feel good about and we respect ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves, we like this feeling and again, human nature will push us to cultivate this good to keep this good feeling going and more inclined to reject that which is within ourselves that will make us feel poorly of and guilty about ourselves. We are then beginning to become in touch with our REAL selves.
Once we establish our self worth, we can then face objectively our drawbacks without destroying our pre-established self esteem and self respect. To truly LEARN ourselves, we must learn both the positives and the negatives about ourselves and then we must accept we have both. In this process we learn and KNOW we have value; we have worth, which instills greater confidence in ourselves and COURAGE. In order to face our weaknesses, our shortcomings, and we all have some, we NEED "courage" and a lot of courage and when we have enough courage to face our shortcomings, our demons as some like to label them, we arm ourselves with the knowledge that our courage we can then also apply to other areas/aspects of our lives.
For instance, when we're faced with doing the right thing or the wrong thing, if we can muster courage to face our demons, then we also know we're capable of having courage to do what's right AND even when we know we'll be unpopular when we do. When we can choose right over wrong with others' strong objection, we gift ourselves with invaluable self worth and earn ourselves integrity as well. When we allow ourselves to go along with the crowd, especially when we know it's wrong, we gain nothing of value. In fact we lose; we allow ourselves to be lesser people. When we allow ourselves to be lesser people, then we demean ourselves and perpetuate mediocrity in ourselves instead of excellence. Anyone can go along with the crowd. ANYONE! Going along with the crowd requires no guts, no backbone, no courage, no bravery. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But there is a cost because a shadow is cast on one's self esteem, confidence, and worth and to counteract this, one then calls on their ego to supply them excuses to justify their lack of courage and their ego will be more than glad to fulfill their request. When we rely on our ego, we invite in all that ego perpetuates.
When we acknowledge and accept our weaknesses and shortcomings as well as our strengths and pluses, THIS makes and keeps us HUMBLE and honest with/about ourselves. When we are humble, our ego can't rule us, can't turn our self confidence into arrogance. When we are humble, we're more understanding with others; we're more empathetic than apathetic; we're more forgiving, more caring, more compassionate, and we abandon 'selfishness' for 'selflessness'. There is no better trait to cultivate than humility because humility promotes our positive and good traits, which gives our character 'integrity'. Whereas, ego condones our negative and lesser traits and provides us with excuses to justify our bad behaviours, prompted by our negative traits, therefore, compromising our character to make us less than what we could/can REALLY be. Our ego will deceive us whenever we give it power to do so.
When we learn ourselves, accept we have both attributes and drawbacks, we are then in touch with all of our REAL selves, whom we have learned in the process to accept "and respect" AND we lose the need to be or project a fake, unreal version of ourselves. We only make up and project a false version of ourselves, created by our ego, when we are unable to accept our selves, when we aren't pleased or satisfied with ourselves. By allowing our ego to paint us into having a more likable, acceptable persona, though fake, instead of truly learning ourselves for REAL acceptance, we in turn will also rely on others to validate us, to measure our self worth, and ultimately determine whether or not we are acceptable, making it so, when others reject us, mistreat us, treat us like we're not good enough, etc., it will have a harmful and negative impact, unless we learn and KNOW our own REAL value/worth.
I won't say, however, that others' negative, cruel, insensitive remarks and behaviour won't still have a sting because they probably will, but if you're well armored with resilience as I've previously covered, a sting is about all they'll be able to do and your developed resilience will be more than adequately equipped to ward such off. It's also a good rule of thumb to keep in mind that those who get their jollies from attacking, bullying, putting down others, etc. are more miserable with and about themselves than they are with you. People who are miserable want everyone else to wallow in misery with them. Misery loves company.
Therefore, if people treat you like an outcast, you're in essence better off without them because the 'right' people will accept you and the wrong people you don't need. When you learn yourself and KNOW you have value and worth, no one can take this away from you or bring you down no matter how much they try. You may experience unpleasant pangs but they won't be able to rock or crumble the strong foundation of yourself you've built that's real and so, resilient.
Personally, I strongly dislike it when I see people treat other people as outcasts. Very often I will go out of my way to try and reach out to folks who are treated this way, who aren't appreciated when I think they should be, and/or are obviously being taken advantage of. I'm almost always for the underdog. I am this way simply because I know what it feels like to be treated this way and I don't want or like to see others in this situation. I will try to find a way or ways to support them, to show them I support them, because of some desire within me to try and encourage them to see, then learn and know their own self worth, knowing through my own experience as well as through others and their same or similar experiences, this general course of action really does work. The best counter attack to have against the degrading attacks of others is to build an honest, reliable, impenetrable, resilient armor aforementioned. Sometimes I've successfully helped others and sometimes I've had my intentions backfire on me. But even when my efforts have backfired, I am still left with the knowledge knowing I tried. It's better to try and fail than it is to not have tried at all.
But it's not a 'quick fix'. There's no magical transformation overnight. A person has to want this bad enough 'for themselves' to go after and obtain this security in self through the learning to know one's REAL self and their self worth. If we have a good support system of family and friends, this helps tremendously, but even if we don't or feel we don't, it still can be done. It will be tougher to pull off and it will take longer, but if we persevere and maintain determination, we can reach that place where we know and accept our true selves completely, which includes our self worth; the place where we are completely free from the negative scrutiny of others; the place where we can and will accentuate our positive, and as a result, we radiate the same. ♥
