Friday, July 6, 2018

Outside-Looking-In

Howdy folks! 

When you truly Love someone, with every fiber of your being, you can forgive them a gazillion times, wipe clean over and over their slate of mistakes; make tons of excuses for them and their behaviour; you can believe in them until the cows come home; you can overlook/accept their shortcomings; you can encourage them in every way you know of to shine; you can offer understanding up the wazoo and have the patience of Job... but if all the one you Love cares about is playing with you and your emotions/feelings and using your Love to use you, abuse you, hurt you, destroy you, then the only recourse you have left, is to quit, slam that door shut and bolt it, and don't look back. 

Yeah, it's painful but in time you can heal, whereas, if you stay in a dead end, heart wrenching situation, you can NEVER heal, which a toxic person doesn't want you to heal. They want to keep your wounds they inflict, raw, gaping, and as painful as possible, since it is for them a main source of pleasure. Your crying, your pain, your suffering, your agony, is a turn on for them. They get a 'high' from your pain. Toxic people are toxic to themselves and everyone else they can possibly infect and loving such an individual is not only hopeless, but self destructive for sure, because the more you Love them, the more understanding, patient, forgiving, etc. you are, the more ammunition they invert to use against you. Narcs have no conscience, feel nothing, including remorse, and are therefore, incapable of Love. They loathe who they are and so, they use their ego to create a fake version of themselves, while everything about themselves they loathe, they then project it all onto others, and if you Love such a person, you'll get the brunt of their projections. 

"Outside Looking In"
(image pending)

Once I wanted you in my life
To be a vital part.
Once you had an open invitation
To be inside my heart.
Once I admired you tremendously,
Held you in high regard,
Once you were important to me,
In my life you starred.

But then you destroyed it all,
A little bit at a time,
As you played me for a fool,
Like I'm not worth a dime.
But still, I didn't give up,
Gave you umpteen chances,
Made excuses for your behaviour,
Causing unpleasant circumstances.

I didn't want to think of you
As being a heartless narc,
But eventually you forced me to
See you're all black and dark.
There is no Love within you,
Only ego, spite, and hate.
You live to torment others,
In a pathetic, lifeless state.

The rose I saw within you
Turned out to be a fake;
Just another of your con jobs
To advantage of me, take.
I like to believe there's good
Inside of every heart,
But you've convinced me
You're void of any such part.

I thought...
If I Loved you enough,
The good in you would shine;
If I forgave you enough,
From cruelty you'd resign;
If I believed in you enough,
You'd have courage to be brave
To follow a path of integrity
And value this enough to save.

But this is how you like it,
As you wallow in your mud,
A quagmire of a pathetic life,
With the stench of ego's crud.
If you didn't like your life,
Then changes you would make.
To encourage you is pointless,
Since you like your ego made fake.

Behind your wall of superficial,
You're a weak, spineless, coward.
You're dependent upon your ego
To make you feel empowered.
But strip away your ego and
Of substance, nothing's there,
Which this is fine with you,
Since you don't give a damn to care.

For you I have and feel no hate,
Which I'm sure you'd like me to,
Since then you could claim victory
In making me just like hateful you.
You are everything I'm not,
Filled with hateful jealousy,
And I'm everything you're not,
Love, compassion, with integrity.

On the Outside Looking In you are
And it's all you'll ever be,
Because to keep you in my heart
Would mean destroying me.
I have a heart of Love,
Which you cannot understand,
Because yours is of hate
With your ego in command.

Hence, though upon my door
You in different ways knock,
You're wasting your time, dear,
Since I'll never it, unlock.
It's taken me a long time
To come to my conclusion
That you are nothing more
Than a toxic, cancerous intrusion.

I do not give up easily.
It takes a LOT for me to quit,
But this has been a dead end,
Which now I finally get.
You have no heart for a rose,
With your black ego in control.
You're a pit of pure emptiness,
With a black hole for a soul.

In my life now, there's only real,
No more room will I make
For empty, heartless black holes
Hidden under superficial, fake.
On the Outside Looking In is
As close as you'll ever get to me,
Since I've traded in the fake you
For the REAL He, which you'll never be.

He, I can depend upon
And with, have an honest REAL chat;
He, I can have faith in
Not an immature, fake technocrat. 
With He, I know I'm Loved
Not just a target to on, inflict pain;
With He, I am protected
And I'm freed from my sanity being slain.

Between the likes of you and He, 
You cannot compare,
Since He is real and true,
While you have lots of fake to spare.
On a scale from one to ten,
He is a thousand plus
And you? You're a negative of the same,
With the applicable title, wuss.

Ciao!

💗 Have a blessed day! ðŸ’—
Poem by Artsieladie /Artsieladie Sharon Donnelly 
©2018-07-06 08:11:00 (EDT)
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Inspired by the biggest wuss I've ever known.

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