Saturday, August 25, 2018

ULTIMATE-BETRAYAL

Howdy folks! 

This is a lengthy post that I doubt many will care to read, but at the same time I'm sure there are others who can well relate to this, since often in life, when parents pass away, a sibling or siblings who is/are greedy and selfish will then reveal their "true colours", which only adds to the grief and pain of the other sibling or siblings. Then too, a few will read this and their blood will boil from guilt, for guilty people hate having their despicable acts and behaviour exposed, but their discomfort is/will be NOTHING compared to the horrendous, horrific, unnecessary pain and suffering they have caused myself and others.

The worst thing one can do when they're hurting is to turn it inward and hide it or worse, deny it. We need to find a productive way to release our pain and grief. My way is done through writing and writing this has been anything but pleasant, more like gut-wrenchingly painful, bringing all the pain and hurt to the surface to write about and express. But the only way to deal with pain, especially perhaps, the deepest and most severe pain, is 'through' it, not around it, not avoiding it, but facing it head on. Part of the healing process comes by expressing the pain and in order to express the pain, the truth of what and/or whom caused the pain must also be addressed. When we remain silent about wrongs being done, we then protect those who carry out their wrongful deeds. Our silence then protects the lying and deceitfulness and hinders the truth from being revealed. When we remain silent about what and/or who has caused us pain, we aid and abet the wrong and only hurt ourselves more in the process.  

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of Mom and miss her. Like learning to cope with the loss of my Mother isn't enough, I've had to learn how to cope with the loss of people I've known and loved my entire life, for the people I 'thought' they were, are now dead, too, and in their place are now people who are, have become satan servers; monsters motivated by selfishness and greed, two traits my Mother loathed. Having to learn how to cope with the loss of my Mother and having to learn people you've loved your entire life are now consumed with hatred and have proved so through their mean and spiteful acts, because I refused to be a part of the father's lying and scheming game plans, is indescribably painful. But at the same time, knowing I wouldn't have done any differently had I known what I know now, is also indescribably rewarding.

To know I'm walking in my Mother's footsteps of integrity and not the narcissistic footsteps of the father figure, affords me a sense of self worth all their filthy, rotten money cannot even hope to buy. When it comes to being punished for following the path of doing what's right versus being rewarded for following the path of doing what's wrong, I'll choose the fore without hesitation, as my Mother would and did. I have very little money but I have integrity. They have lots of money, some of which they stole, but they have zero integrity. 

"ULTIMATE BETRAYAL"
You think you know your siblings, until your parents die.
This is when their true character shows, they won't deny.
If they have a code of ethics, morals, and integrity,
They'll be fair and do what's right for the whole family.
But if they've none of these, they'll serve their selfish greed,
Take everything for themselves and NOT because of need.

Our Mother raised us well, good values she did instill.
She lived a virtuous life with integrity to guide her will.
She worked hard and tirelessly to give us all she could,
Asked little for herself and of us, she wanted to be good.
By good, I mean, respectable, with honour, morals, integrity,
All which she demonstrated in how she lived with a mind of purity.

In one of my brothers she placed in him her trust,
That her wishes he would execute when she returned to dust.
He even swore to her just days before she passed away
That her wishes he would carry out, 'to the letter', he did say,
And in front of several of us, as we were gathered 'round her bed.
But then he betrayed his word, her trust, after she was dead.

His own Mother, who trusted him, he betrayed as she lay dying;
Swore to her, her wishes he'd fulfill, knowing he was lying.
Instead of dividing things equally among all of us remaining,
He with two other siblings took the majority for their own gaining.
One other sibling was allowed a very minor, meager amount,
While two sisters and I didn't at all or whatsoever, count.

It wasn't due to financial needs to explain my brother's take.
Heck, he needed to buy property for an income tax break!
Of the siblings remaining, the ones who have the very most,
Took everything for themselves; of despicable degree, utmost.
But not just of monetary value did they deny others of as well,
They showed no regard for ANYthing, either trashing or did sell.

Personal things of Mom's to have, we had every right, too;
Things she promised us they stole from us although they knew.
Envelopes written by her hand, with on them, each our name,
The contents of they pocketed with NO remorse or shame.
Nothing short of thugs and thieves with deliberate intent.
All they did to us for spite, viciously it was meant.

I was met at my Mom's front door by a stranger unbowed,
Who proceeded to tell me that 'only family was allowed'.
All of Mom's things, so personal and the most private kind,
Which ONLY to her daughterS should the task've been assigned,
Others were permitted to go through, so indecent and so crude,
Knowing Mom to be a modest lady, allowed strangers to intrude.

Her memory they've treated worse than an enemy they would,
As though she was trash to get rid of, to make it understood.
The big ol' dumpster in her yard, filled, I never shall forget,
All trash to them and meaningless without an ounce of regret.
It seemed like I was in a foreign land with those I didn't know.
Not an iota of compassion did they demonstrate or show.

But I believe our Mother knew within, way down deep inside
That her wishes wouldn't be fulfilled by those on she relied,
Because of remarks made to her, cruel, heartless, chided,
By her spouse and daughter in law, about where we resided.
I recall her telling me she was afraid for my daughter and I,
That we'd be put out in the street, upon the day she would die.

I'm not the only one she told this to; she was this concerned,
But only those she trusted most, did she share what she discerned.
The three who've betrayed her, weren't among those she trusted
To share her concerns with, making it clear who she then mistrusted.
She begged and pleaded with me to accept her parents' very old house,
Which for years I've lived in, paid for, denied by her lying spouse.

As it turned out, they have proven her spot on and right,
Since I KNOW now they would have thrown us out for spite.
I know it broke her heart to even think her son would ever steal
Away from us our home as she cried for how it made her feel.
But I believe, too, she wanted to believe that trust him, she could;
She gave him the chance, he blew it, proving he couldn't on make good.

Such a complete lack of caring, with no conscience or remorse;
Narcissistic traits of father's, the chosen path and course.
Pure greed and selfishness, displayed by the siblings, three,
They cheated, lied, and stole from their own most despicably.
All they cared about was money and all of it they could get,
Our hearts couldn't be more deeply wounded with a bayonet.

Family heirlooms were auctioned off, since they mattered not;
Things that didn't belong to them, for them, they never bought.
The Family Bible, our uncle's purple heart and his coffin's flag;
He gave his life for our country, treated like junk, a worthless rag.
Countless items irreplaceable, like Grandpa's clock and wedding ring,
But to the selfish, greedy siblings, they didn't mean a thing.

Family albums, pictures, with memories to hand down, pass on,
For grandchildren to cherish, treasure, have disappeared and gone.
Mom's recipes, jewelry, her personal things she treasured,
We were denied ALL of; to us their value can't be measured.
To my sister and I who were left out, our Mom we cherished
And for this, we were scorned, all caring about us perished.

Even my daughter's pictures they stole, along with other things
Belonging to my daughter to ensure my daughter felt the stings.
As godparents, two of these siblings, for my daughter I decreed,
Never did I know or even think they would hurt her for greed.
Then to have the audacity to cry to her, brother pretended to care
At my sister's funeral and so proud of her he said and did declare.

Of having mementos for them to cherish, grandchildren were denied
And too, great grand children, like they're worthless, was implied.
No one's feelings were considered whatsoever; not even in the least, 
Besides grieving for our Mother, we learned our brother is a beast.
Like his father he has chosen to become and in his footsteps follow,
A disgrace to our Mother and of goodness, he is empty, hollow.

Everything my Mom stood for and her life, they completely desecrated,
Committed moral crimes that wouldn't be done to someone even hated!
Yet, the father figure who was too cruel and mean to a dad, ever be,
They honoured his wishes, his hatred, his lies, keeping his decree.
The father figure was abusive, even with his own handicapped child,
Tormented her, then beat her when she cried and continually he reviled.

My brother, the betraying son, knows well that this is very true,
'Cause he held his father down and said to him, 'Don't make me hit you!'
After our defenseless sister, father'd been tormenting and abusing.
But doing such he did to her and animals; to him this was amusing.
His father reaped joy from tormenting and loved to use his belts
To beat his step kids with, leaving painful, sore and swollen welts.

Verbal abuse he honed and practiced liberally and he'd instigate
Situations he could justify his delivery of and to demonstrate.
At nearly every dinner table, a time for family togetherness,
He used the opportunity to show more of his mean spitefulness.
If we didn't like a food, extra helpings he'd pile on our plate
And force us to eat it all with his eyes bugging out, irate.

At almost every dinner time, he'd slap me more than once
And the glee in his eyes showed like to him it was a bunce.
My esteem he destroyed; my self worth obliterated,
Told me regularly I was worthless and he well illustrated.
I remember wishing many times I was never born, nor even still alive,
Which he made clear he wished for me too, since before the age of five.

But it wasn't just I who he abused in this devastating way.
With all of his step kids, our esteem, our worth, he did fillet.
The scars will never heal; the hurt and pain will always be,
But still I am grateful for what he did is priceless to me.
He illustrated very well what type of person to never to succumb
And I knew no matter what it took, like him I NEVER would become.

He cheated, lied, and schemed all throughout his life,
Had no regard, respect, or care for his faithful wife.
Instead, he cursed her in every possible, degrading way,
Her reward from him for working tirelessly each and every day.
He cursed her before she died for caring for their child,
For not putting their daughter away, in a home exiled. 

The night when Mom's last rights were to be given, read,
Her spouse declined to be a part, said he needed rest instead.
Two betraying siblings can't deny their father's callous heart,
Since they're the ones who told him and he refused to be a part.
The next day he asked to see her, as he cried and carried on,
And Mom, God bless her soul, said 'No', his chance was then gone.

Anyone who told the truth about him and his deceitful path,
Were accused of lying; recipients of his narcissistic wrath.
He would never say he was sorry for anything he has done.
There was no humbleness about him, just ego by the ton.
Grudges he carried like torches, kept them burning bright;
Wrongs belonged only to others; he was always right.

He was a man of two faces, he wore to protect his nature, true.
There was the face for others, but then the face so few ever knew.
At work he was mr. pleasant, charming, and so very nice,
Making ladies not believe his heart was colder than dry ice.
When company would come to our home, he presented himself the same,
But behind closed doors when all left, back to the rogue he became.

So when, what kind of person he REALLY was, is revealed,
Many can't believe it, are blinded by his deceptive shield.
If the three siblings involved in Mom's betrayal ever had to swear
To speak the truth on the Bible and for their lives, to spare,
They would have to tell then the truth about his hidden side,
Instead of honouring him as though 'he' should be glorified.

THIS is the person the three honour, his wishes, they've respected,
Hold in high regard, while Mom's honour, they've totally rejected.
They've made it crystal clear they value not her legacy of honour
And I'll not be silent about how they have brought to her dishonour.
How any of them can live with themselves, knowing what they've done,
Especially the broken promise made by, she thought, her 'loving son'.

Superficial, fake, heartless, devious, and cruel,
From the father's book, all part of 'his' golden rule.
The fruit didn't fall far from the parent tree.
Like his father, he's become in the worst degree.
The awful deeds he's done behind our Mother's back,
All so covered up but Karma is keeping perfect track.

If Mom only knew then, how and by whom she was betrayed
And the wicked, cheating games on her that were being played,
A chance to prove his trustworthiness, he would have never had,
If she had known her son is like his father, who never was a dad.
They scratched each other's backs to keep their secrets never told,
But the surface is the meeting place where truth turns to gold.

It's not a big world anymore and when there's smut to tell,
Such news travels fast and far and amazingly very well.
Truth always has a way of making itself known eventually,
Making cheaters and liars exposed consequentially.
She would have never trusted him, to her wishes, carry out,
But now she knows ALL about him, I have not a shred of doubt.

No morals, no ethics, no anything worth a tinker's damn
Has a person got, who lives a life of lying, all just a sham.
And too, the world sees him as a man with class, integrity,
But it's just his other face he projects for the world to see.
An image of his father's character in almost every way,
With some traits even worse, if it's possible to say.

To think I thought the world of all the siblings three,
Who turned out to be such villains, is painful too, for me.
Never would I've imagined their hearts to be filled with hate,
But believing father's lies would definitely trust, extirpate.
Out behind the garage after eating they went there for yacking.
They thought our Mother didn't know who all they were attacking.

Two brothers and a sister, heartless, forfeited their soul,
And they will come to know eventually the cost of, the toll.
They cannot undo what they have done, nor fix, nor rectify
And so, must live with their scoundrel deeds until they die.
They dishonoured our Mother, her life, in every possible way
And will not go unpunished, for they WILL have to pay.

I think of my poor Mother looking down on them in despair,
Seeing some of her children become the devil's ware.
Her feeling of grief caused by betrayal by her own son
Must be immeasurable and after all for him she has done.
We will all have to face our Mother again one future day.
What will those three who betrayed her then have to say?

I'm glad I'm not in their shoes! Yes, mistakes I have done,
But not even close to betraying her that would the devil, stun.
How the siblings three can ever close their eyes to sleep
And not see our Mother's face with tears they're causing her to weep,
Is beyond my comprehension, knowing how all of us she raised
And yet, three of her children's actions have her, dispraised.

Since the three siblings give homage to a father not deserving,
And instead have chosen to dishonour Mom to be satan serving,
The story must be told, an accounting of, the truth I remember well
And with my Gift from God I must my Mother honour and the truth tell.
I mention not a single name as there's really no need for me to do,
Since they know well who they are, as Mom and God surely do know, too.

On so many levels, an ULTIMATE BETRAYAL to let his Mother die,
Knowing he was deceiving her with a no greater, sinful lie
Than to PROMISE his Mother, swearing with words, 'to the letter',
And the siblings who went along with him, aren't very much better.
People you grow up with you don't expect they'll steal from their own
Nor stab you, your Mother, in your soul or clearly through the bone.

I try hard to purge the pain; to forgive, even harder I do try,
But every day I think of Mom and their deeds I cannot nullify.
I often use poetry to ease the pain of what I feel within,
But this is a pain against I cannot seem to ever hope to win.
All the lives affected, wounded deeply, I'm writing for as well,
Though I know all our pain from our hearts my words cannot expel.

There is no greater enemy; there is not a more worse type of foe
Than one you've loved your whole life becoming one you do not know.
Anyone who can do the things they've done AND to their OWN,
They'll likewise do to others, the same behaviour, clone.
If the roles had been reversed, if they had been shut out,
Their wrath would've been immeasurable, I have no doubt.

But since it's they who carried out their immoral, greedy acts,
My sister and I are expected to forget all the painful facts.
We're expected to say nothing about what they have done,
To leave them smelling like a rose, with accountability, none. 
Those who do despicable deeds should not in silence be bathed
By those they've victimized, left severely and forever scathed.

Causing pain and suffering, along with grief and misery,
They've engraved in their resume the father's legacy.
While our beloved Mother, her title, they have forfeited to claim,
Since for their greed and selfishness, they've only brought her shame.
But there will come the day, when they'll reap what they have sown
And regret the wishes they defied for the wishes they chose to condone.

💗 Have a blessed day! ðŸ’—
Poem by Artsieladie /Artsieladie Sharon Donnelly 
©2018-07-26 00:26:00 (EDT)
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Credits:
In honour of my Mother, who lived a life of much hardship, but humbly, honest, and with integrity.
It is for her I write the truth, since she's not here to speak it and defend her honour.

"Have a blessed day; count your blessings, every one,
As your day begins, throughout, and when your day is done."
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